(Articol scris de Comecuca, postat in SR Club de Jason)

 

Acest post e dedicat celor care sunt acuma la inceput....si celor care ii indeamna pe altii sa posteze si sa-si piarda vremea pe forum!!! Articolul este scris de Comecuca este un ex-student Badboy
Poate are cineva timp sa il traduca si sa-l puna la sectiunea bobocilor pinned.

Enjoy!
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I am a fan of the relation between statistics and the perception of fear. There was a study done about a decade ago that examined the way Americans dealt with fears. This in turn was made into a documentary called "Safe America". This documentary explained the way that TV and now the internet has influenced the amount of fear we feel as a result of images and accounts of horrible events compared to fifty years ago when TV and the internet weren't around.

I'd like to explore how these findings have affected us and have shaped our perceptions of women and rejection. What I've noticed about this community, after reading and taking part in discussions for a few years, is that thanks to all of the theories on how women are so damn difficult to seduce, a lot of us are not responding to taking the risk to approach women rationally. Instead a lot of us look at seducing women as this war to be fought when in reality is a lot less difficult. This is an over exaggeration of the truth and due to the way we process information, especially since it's on the internet, people begin to see these distortions as truth.

The biggest proponent of these over exaggerations is ASF. A forum that was initially set up to expand awareness of speed seduction. From the very beginning ASF was the eminent domain of Ross Jeffries. He is the founder of ASF along with some others. This guy is a master at what I like to call "Scare Marketing". "Scare Marketing" is when you scare the shit out of someone to get them to buy their products. Since this guy was the authority back then this meant that his views and his agenda are what shaped the unspoken rules of ASF. The unspoken rule is that getting women is extremely hard. What has happened is that all of the gurus that have come after him have all used his same scare tactics to do their marketing which means that their ideas have also been tainted by their agenda. This agenda being money. So instead of reading clear, consice advice what you're reading is a marketing bullet.

These distortions, after being repeated over and over again by guys who are considered authorities, then slowly creep up into the consciousness of a group until it becomes truth. So in essence the whole community is suffering from an over inflated sense of fear when it comes to seducing women and that's why it is so harmful to allow yourself to be sucked in by these ideas when in reality they're not the truth. Or half truths for that matter. Sure there's a risk you have to deal with when you talk to women, but it's not as great as they'd have you believe. Can you see where this can lead you to believe that women are a hard nut to crack?

Now I'd like to discuss what has hapened as a result of the distorted message of fear that has been sent by the community. Fear exploits two glitches in human nature, all related to the management and perception of unusual events. In our case the unusual event is rejection. Not rejection per se, but the amount and severity of the rejection.

First, as much as we think we're rational, risk avoidance is not managed by reason. It is managed by our emotional system. The system that is designed for our self preservation. It's just like when you want to go approach a woman and your brain starts to produce a bunch of excuses and you talk your way out of it. It's doing that because your self preservation instinct has kicked in.

Second, since our preservation instincts thrive on fear, whenever you read something about a guy being blown out our brains absorb the negative message a lot quicker than it does possitive ones. This makes our emotional system a very bad statistician. By being a poor statistician your brain will distort this one rejection and make it seem as if it always happens this way. Add your brain's ability to distort the frequency of these unusual events to a marketing fueled account of someone's failure and you have a good recipe for stopping yourself from doing something as simple as approaching a woman.

Our emotional system responds to the concrete and proximate. This means that if you continue to read and read accounts of failure you will always have the possibility of rejection and it's emotional after effects at your door all of the time. Try this on for size. Step away from reading forums and seduction related materials for a month and use this month to approach women. I bet you that the lowered awareness of rejection will leave you such a refreshing feeling that you'll wonder why in the hell you never did that. Ever wonder where you get your excuse generator? Well yeah we get it from society, but then it's compounded when you read this shit.

Now go on. Stop reading shit on seduction and go become a seducer. Go.


Comecuca

You guys hit the nail on the head. This is the reason why I don't read or respond to people who post ASF type posts. The way I recognize the difference between a guy who is reading ASF and a guy who is reading stuff on here is that their questions are always about how they can make themselves more valuable to women. This is one of the many unspoken laws over there which assume that you're a piece of shit until you learn to demonstarte that you're valuable.

Again. This doesn't have to be this way. Take Shark or Badboy. They came up with the theory that you are already a seducer and all you have to do is let it out. I have never ever read this kind of thing on ASF. Instead you get people arguing about what's the best way to come off alpha. Value, value, value. That's all they worry about over there. Sure it's good to come off alpha and improve your body language, but do it to improve yourself not just to impress women. Everything those dudes talk about comes from the assumption that you're not good enough to seduce women.

A better indicator of the difference between the two forums is also the debate between direct and indirect. The indirect practitioners, many of them asf addicts, assume that direct won't work because it makes you look like everyone else. They also argue that direct doesn't provide adequate attract material. If this were true then why do so many people from ugly guys to good looking guys use direct with success? Could it be because we've broken away from the understanding that we're worthless or incompetent and have what it takes to get pussy right now?

So what's the alternative? Read a bunch of shit that he won't need because he has nothing to compare it to? Or complicate himself with shit that'd be better understood once he can actually talk to women?

If this hypothetical 30 year old virgin were to mentally masturbate about concepts, techniques and strategies then he'd be a hell of a lot more ahead if he could talk to women. Don't you think?

I can tell a guy, who is a virgin and has never read anything, to go pick up a girl and he'll do it a lot faster than a guy who is aware of all of the excuses presented in the community. The guy who reads shit will come up with complicated excuses such as; I don't know if I have enough value or Is my Bl O.K.. The guy who has never read anything will just tell me he's scared. It's a lot easier to breakdown the fear of approaching. It's more difficult to try to convince someone who now has a ton of written evidence on why he shouldn't approach.

So what if I got chicks before entering the community. Every time I talk to a new girl I have the same chance as you do to get her. Nothing changes. This is just excuses talking

How the fuck do you know he won't know how to attarct women? That is a natural instinct human beings have. He has a dick and the girl a pussy. This shit about guys being far more superior to each other is a myth my man. You've allowed this marketing shit to enetr your mind. The only thing that separates this guy that doesn't approach to a guru is that the guru was able to come to the conclusion that girls aren't that scary. That is it.

If you want to believe that this is the contrary then I feel for you. Dude, getting chicks is easy. When someone finds out, it's like you want to put a bullet through your fucking brain. All of the stupid shit you thought and thought about isn't true so you lament the lost time.

Your example is like comparing oranges and bowling balls. Or your ass to your eye lashes. It has nothing to do with one another.

Doing weights can get you hurt. Talking to women will never, ever, harm you. Taking it slow like that just leaves room for you to make excuse after excuse. Don't you see it? If the guy says fuck it and takes the hardest road then he'll learn a lot faster that nothing a woman says can affect you.

I think learning how to approach and coping with rejection are two very important ways to become good with women. Once a person has broken the threshold of approaching then of course he can come back and read stuff. I'm not saying that all reading is bad, but if your reading and doing nothing about it then what's helpful in that? If I can get a dude to approach without fear then everything, theory-wise, will be a hell of a lot easier to digest. I think you have to distinguish the difference between reading and not approaching with approaching and then reading.

Even after he comes back from becoming an approach machine the dude has to be careful what he reads too. Take a guy who is approaching and getting laid and then decided to stop approaching and read. If he starts to get influenced by all of the bad theories in the community then his growth will be stunted

This is too much. How the fuck will a guy with little experience know about pleasuring women? Shit there's a lot of guys that just fuck a woman once and then dump her. What the fuck do you think this guy knows about keeping a woman or pleasuring one?

All of the stuff you mention is important no doubt, but wouldn't it be better to know all of this shit when you need it. When you're approaching and actually getting girls talking to you for more than a minute?

The "Natural born looser", as you put it does know what he has to do. That he doesn't do it is another thing.

I am not talking about a guy that doesn't even know these resources exist, because you can't reach everybody. The people I pointed my argument towards are the guys that have found this particular forum and go between reading this one and ASF. For those guys, especially the guys that are beginners, reading material that is too complicated will inevitably fuck them up. I can't begin to count how many times I've seen or read accounts from guys that spent years and months trying to decipher what it means to get chicks. What's even more worrying is that in the interim they will probably approach once or twice and that's it.

If no one is telling you to go approach, then here I am telling you. START APPROACHING NOW.

There's a ton of shit you can learn if you start approaching. For starters, if you loose the fear of approaching you'll learn the habit of action. You can read all the shit about seduction you want, but unless you get off your ass it is all wasted. You'll also realize that approaching and talking to women is not as scary as you once thought. This in turn will make you more comfortable when talking to women and you'll actually be able to think clearly enough so that when you do use what you've learned you don't fuck it up by being nervous.

Other things you'll learn is how to not take rejection so seriously. For most guys that don't approach, the biggest barrier is this fear of rejection. No amount of reading can get you over this fear. This has to be faced so that you realize it isn't a big deal. You can read all of the examples of how people got over this fear, but you will not learn it unless you live it.

So now you see where reading even good stuff will hinder you unless you get off your ass and approach. I am not talking about opening with opinion openers or any of that bollocks. What I'm talking about is approaching directly from the beginning. It's easy to approach with opinion openers. So why take the easy road when it comes to your future with women. Go at it full blast or don't go at all.

Again. I emphasize that reading after you can approach fearlessly it's where it's at.

My way of learning if I had to do it all over again would be like this.

Spend as long as it took learning how to approach without fear. Then go read as much as you want to polish yourself up.

Yeah. I'm all for it. Point them in the right direction once they loose the fear of approaching.

That's why I focus on this forum in particular. I know that a lot of people that read stuff about direct are fed up with feeling like they are shit because they don't have what it takes to get grls.